Laos? Eh, why not?

The title says it all. I'm in Laos.

Why am I here? That's a fair question, no doubt. Will you accept "I don't know" as an acceptable answer? It was a strange combination of cheap travel, favorable reviews from other backpackers, and the ever effective "why not?" factor.

Ok, forget this. I need to type something NOW, because quite frankly, I need to address this situation myself. I'm currently at an internet cafe that has 8 children under the age of of 12. They are all watching Laotian You Tube and playing a game that I think has something to do with crop reports. They are screaming their heads off. Apparently a dancing horse on You Tube is the Laos equivilent to "Home Alone" and "Home Alone 2," the only two films that have ever elicited proportional excitement from me.

Also, there is a teenage boy, a single computer to my left, who is looking at hardcore, gay pornography and a middle aged man who is leering over his shoulder.

This may be a short post.

Laos is easily the most relaxing country I've been to in Asia. The population is low, the pressure to buy things is lax, and the frequency of people trying to screw you out of your money is next to none. Believe me, nothing pops blood vessels faster than finding out you paid four times as much for a travel package as did the guy sitting next to you on the bus. Not in Laos baby! Fixed prices are so, so sweet.

One Laotian place we visited was Vang Vihn, a backpackers haven. There are two things that seperate Vang Vihn from just about every other place in the world. First, it is a town that is situated on a river and the main attraction is a long and winding tube ride down that river. Every 100 meters or so, you'll find a "bar" that serves ice cold beer and gut wrenching hard liquor. To be honest, these "bars" were little more than makeshift platforms, though they often featured huge swings, or zip lines that catapulted you into the river. Inevitabely, you end up on the same movement schedule with other particular tubers and conversations are easily struck. I've said this many times before, but I am blown away at how easy it is to find friends in Asia. Everyone seems to be a single comment away from planning an entire evening around each other. Who was it this time around? Four Frenchies, four Irish lasses, and a English gal to boot!

I'm getting sidetracked. The SECOND thing that places Vang Vihn next to none is the fact that in town, away from the river, there are something like 20 cafes that only play episodes of "Friends". I'm going to let this point sink in for a bit. Now, I'm not saying that there are "Friends" episodes on in the background. No, no, no, each cafe is set up like a hippie movie theater, or an Opium den. You take off your shoes, climb up to your lofted bed, and snuggle up to one of the 30 pillows at your disposal. Huge and numerous screens make it impossible to not catch a glimpse of Joey's adorable face and bumping speakers make sure you don't miss a single joke. I'm not sure what it is about "Friends". It certainly has an international appeal, but I also have to assume that there was a major bandwagon situation after one cafe struck gold. To be fair, we were able to find one cafe that played non-stop "Simpsons" episodes.

Beyond that, bars, cafes, and even hostels close down at 11-11:30 in Laos. That sucks. It's also very surprising when you are kicked out after your second beer. Ah well. Just about everything else has been incredible. I'm truly loving life right now. It's exciting as ever and the big trip is yet to happen...coming home!

All right, this is ridiculous. The kids are now wrestling in the middle of the floor. I wish I was joking.

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What?

Oh man, now you have to comment.

Tommy

Good Morning Vietnam!

Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

As I was saying...Hong Kong was fantastic. It felt like the city of a thousand cultures. There were Hong Kong natives, mainland China immigrants, tons of British ex-pats, a huge Indian population, plenty of people from the Middle East, and throngs of backpackers from every corner of the world. Ok, so maybe it was more like the city of 6 cultures, but it is impossible not to notice the international presence and its many influences on the city. For instance, it was Hong Kong where I first rode in a double decker bus and it was Hong Kong where I smoked at a very authentic, Persian, Hookah Bar (don't worry Mom, it was just flavored tobacco).

The bar scene in this busteling town is the best I've witnessed during my few years of bar experience. Entire sections of the city are soley dedicated to serving those who want to dance, sing, and drink well into the AM. This includes many places to catch a late night snack. After bragging to a particular American woman that I had spent the last year in Hunan, "the land of spicy food", she decided to order for me the spiciest Indian kebab that was available. I knew I was in trouble when a short man with a thick Punjabi accent laughed crazily as he fixed up my kebab. A small crowd of early morning party goers were priviliged enough to see me falling about like man on fire, tears pouring from my eyes, hiccups punching their way out of mouth, as I cursed the vile American woman for using my manly ego as a weapon against myself. My lips still burn at the mere thought of that satanic hoooooot pocket (shout out to the Sharkeys).

The one downside to this impromtu trip was how expensive Hong Kong turned out to be. You see, Phil and I brought money that was intended for Vietnam, a country you can transverse comfortably at 10-15 dollars a day. In Hong Kong, however, you'll be lucky if that kind of money covers a single taxi trip. So yes, Phil and I are running a little short on cash and have toned down our spending here in Vietnam. Yet, the memories that we created in Hong Kong are worth double what we paid. It's difficult to say more about Brent and Alex (Scotty and Irishy), but they will be very hard to forget.

Vietnam is a mind trip, no doubt about it. Much like India, the true beauty of Vietnam can be found on any street corner, not in some museum. As anyone will tell you, the vendors are intense here, but I've built up quite a tolerance for this kind of hassle. I have my "no thank you" routine down solid and have learned the very important lesson that a smile will get you MUCH farther in places like this than anger. The architecture in Hanoi is beautiful. Asian tradition blends with French balconies and rooftops. Also, one of the first things you'll hear someone talk about if they've been to Vietnam is the motorbike situation. They completely dominate the roads here. Everywhere you go, they swarm around you like...a swarm! It's an amazing image when you first arrive at a four way stop, not a single motorist obeying any traffic rules (should they exist), each playing their part in the intricate and improvised ballet that keeps these people from slamming into eachother.

I guess, above anything, Vietnam has been relaxing. As I've said before, Phil and I just don't have travelor's guilt that others might have. We don't feel the need to best utilize every minute of the day. We don't feel like we're wasting an oppertunity. We have no desire to try and capture the "real Vietnam". We're just enjoying ourselves and if that happens to include sleeping in late and spending most of the day meandering around the city, then so be it.

Okay suckas, keep me posted on how ya'll are doing and keep checking for more updates.

The person who leaves the best comment will win a bottle of my own sweat, perspired right here in VIETNAM! That's right. We're talking tropical sweat! All those who leave a comment that is not considered to be the best will win a "participant" trophy, which is actually a slightly smaller bottle of Vietnam sweat.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chommy

That's Right, I'm In The Shit

Oh man, I've got to type this quick. I'm deep behind enemy lines and I think my position was just given away. I'm in Veitnam right now and Charlie is all over my ass.

This is basically the grand finale of my Asian experience. I am traveling around Vietnam and Cambodia for a little less than a month and then it's bon voyage chopsticks and hello cable telivision. When this trip is up, I will have traveled to Thailand, Vietnam, and Cambodia, not to mention exstensively around China. I tally these places up because it is my sincere hope that I did not waste my time and location while teaching here for a year. I am assuming that I will never again have the oppertunity to leap frog around Asia with such ease, so I gotta pack em' in.

Phil and I left for Vietnam six days ago. We had what was supposed to be a very brief layover in Hong Kong when we learned a very important lesson in internation travel. You see, when you travel to other countries, you need these things called "visas". Phil and I were aware of these so called visas, but somehow assume that we were exempt from such trivial formalities. We were denied entrance and felt very stupid. To be fair, almost every other country in Asia allows you to obtain your visa at that country's airport, but we definately should have checked ahead of time. So, after getting pulled out of line like suspected terrorists, we were forced to gain entry into Hong Kong and apply for a visa there.

Hong Kong has a very strange relationship with China. It is economically and politically independent, very much bucking mainland China in both these areas, but it technically (and militarily) is a part of the PRC. Still, it has its own currency and we needed to apply for entry like any other country. At first, I was very frusterated with the whole situation. I didn't know at the time that our visas for Vietnam were very easy to get and was worried that this factor would sink our entire trip. Also, I was under the assumption that our relatively expensive plane tickets just went down the crapper. However, as I stated before, the visa was very easy to get, taking no more than 3 days and virtually no effort on our part. Furthermore, our tickets somehow allowed us to change the date without a change to the cost. Amazing.

Hong Kong actually proved itself to be a wonderful mistake. Phil and I had a truly wonderful time. We instantly met up with an Irishman and a Scotsman. They were very tall, dashingly handsome, could drink till the pandas came home, and were each traveling around Asia by themselves. I bring up the first two qualities because they both also acted as great bait for pulling in groups of women.

Damn, the internet bar is kicking me out. More shall follow...

Tommy