Back in the Habit
Well, my dear friends, my long vacation is over and I am a working man once more. You might think that I have the blues, the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Blues, but in fact, I am all too eager to get back to the grind. I had a fabulous time traveling all over China, but recently I have felt rather useless. I'm not sure if this is an inherent human fact, but it seems to me that people were meant to work. After a while, you just feel this need to contribute, get a gold star for hard work, and earn a paycheck.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I will be bitching and moaning about my classes in no time. However, I do think it was healthy to experience what a "responsibility free" lifestyle was like and acknowledge that it wasn't that great.
My return to the classroom was met with mixed reactions from the students. Some students lit up as I opened door, litteraly applauding my arrival like I was Santa Claus. Other students were clearly bitter at the idea of being back at school and were no longer impressed by my white skin and hairy legs. Oh, there's also the fact that I failed a few of them. That makes for some awkward water cooler conversation, let me tell you!
I laid out the agenda: "No More Fucking Around! That's right, remedial english is over bitches! The training wheels are off and it's time to embark on some serious exploration into the language of my fathers!" Ok, so I wasn't that intense and used far less curse words, but I did try to point out that I was going to be much more strict this term. I had learned from the mistakes I made last term and was now filling in the holes. I also encouraged them to stop using the basic words and phrases that they were so comfortable with and try out some new ones. "If you only say the words you already know, then you'll never learn anything new!" I definately dropped that pearl of wisdom onto their sponge-like minds, believe it!
I've decided that I haven't posted anything funny in a long time, so I am going to throw up some random things that never found their way into other posts.
No one uses their left hand to write in China. It's true; it's just not done. The first few days of teaching, everytime I went to write something on the board, a wave of murmurs could be heard amongst the students. It was the same kind of murmur that you would expect to hear if a magician performed an absolutely amazing trick that completely baffled the audience. "Wha--is he using his left hand? I'm pretty sure he's using left hand. How is that possible? Is he a deamon?" Eventually, someone would ask, "Why do you use your left hand to write?" I would try to piece together an answer, "Well, in America, lots of people use their left hand." Then I would have to explain that I wasn't doing this for any strange reason, but that I truly felt the most comfortable using my left hand. Funny side note, because writing on a chalk board is difficult for many lefties (and because I have bad handwriting skills to begin with), a fair number of my students were convinced that I was actually right handed, but was attempting to use my left as some sort of trick, or aquired skill that I was showing off.
Phil and I have a new drinking buddy. Phil met him at the gym. His english name is Ivan and he is A MAN! He'll tell you this at any chance he gets. To prove his manliness, Ivan likes to take us out to a hole-in-the-wall resteraunt and demand that we drink like men (or like champions, as Adam would put it). It depends where you go, but for many Chinese resteraunts, you can treat the establishments like you would a dorm room, if you see fit. The owners cart out cases of beer for you and you can play any drinking game that you want, at whatever decible level you desire. The particular resterautnt we go to even provides us with a deck of cards for these type of games. It's great. Ivan shouts at the top of his lungs that we must drink like men, bottle after bottle meets their demise, and Phil and I get very intoxicated. We rarely get within the same vicinity of inoxication as Ivan however. For all his "man" talk, he has a much lower tolerance than both of us and ends up bouncing off the walls after a few bottles. One time, Ivan got up from his chair, attempted to stumble into the bathroom, but instead puked in the hallway. The table next to us was comprised of the owner and his family. Phil and I shot a glance to their table in horror. Instead of getting angry and kicking us out, they were all laughing hysterically, slapping the table, and giving us thumbs up. When in China...
After this drinking escapade, the three of us usually hit the town, sometimes visiting the ever popular video arcade, or possibly singing a song or two at KTV (Kareoke Television). Stop worrying! Phil and I don't engage in this Tom-foolery all that often. We've only done this twice in the past three or four months. It is nice to know though, that the ability to drink like men is available to us-- just as soon as we give Ivan a call.
Fine! Only two stories immediately come to mind! Yes, I know they weren't even that funny! It's the best I could do in the hour or so I have to post this. Remember kids, I'm a working man now!
Comment you bitches.
Tommy
P.s. Pictures coming soon. Like Terracotta- mother truckin'- Warrior pictures! Ya hear?
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I will be bitching and moaning about my classes in no time. However, I do think it was healthy to experience what a "responsibility free" lifestyle was like and acknowledge that it wasn't that great.
My return to the classroom was met with mixed reactions from the students. Some students lit up as I opened door, litteraly applauding my arrival like I was Santa Claus. Other students were clearly bitter at the idea of being back at school and were no longer impressed by my white skin and hairy legs. Oh, there's also the fact that I failed a few of them. That makes for some awkward water cooler conversation, let me tell you!
I laid out the agenda: "No More Fucking Around! That's right, remedial english is over bitches! The training wheels are off and it's time to embark on some serious exploration into the language of my fathers!" Ok, so I wasn't that intense and used far less curse words, but I did try to point out that I was going to be much more strict this term. I had learned from the mistakes I made last term and was now filling in the holes. I also encouraged them to stop using the basic words and phrases that they were so comfortable with and try out some new ones. "If you only say the words you already know, then you'll never learn anything new!" I definately dropped that pearl of wisdom onto their sponge-like minds, believe it!
I've decided that I haven't posted anything funny in a long time, so I am going to throw up some random things that never found their way into other posts.
No one uses their left hand to write in China. It's true; it's just not done. The first few days of teaching, everytime I went to write something on the board, a wave of murmurs could be heard amongst the students. It was the same kind of murmur that you would expect to hear if a magician performed an absolutely amazing trick that completely baffled the audience. "Wha--is he using his left hand? I'm pretty sure he's using left hand. How is that possible? Is he a deamon?" Eventually, someone would ask, "Why do you use your left hand to write?" I would try to piece together an answer, "Well, in America, lots of people use their left hand." Then I would have to explain that I wasn't doing this for any strange reason, but that I truly felt the most comfortable using my left hand. Funny side note, because writing on a chalk board is difficult for many lefties (and because I have bad handwriting skills to begin with), a fair number of my students were convinced that I was actually right handed, but was attempting to use my left as some sort of trick, or aquired skill that I was showing off.
Phil and I have a new drinking buddy. Phil met him at the gym. His english name is Ivan and he is A MAN! He'll tell you this at any chance he gets. To prove his manliness, Ivan likes to take us out to a hole-in-the-wall resteraunt and demand that we drink like men (or like champions, as Adam would put it). It depends where you go, but for many Chinese resteraunts, you can treat the establishments like you would a dorm room, if you see fit. The owners cart out cases of beer for you and you can play any drinking game that you want, at whatever decible level you desire. The particular resterautnt we go to even provides us with a deck of cards for these type of games. It's great. Ivan shouts at the top of his lungs that we must drink like men, bottle after bottle meets their demise, and Phil and I get very intoxicated. We rarely get within the same vicinity of inoxication as Ivan however. For all his "man" talk, he has a much lower tolerance than both of us and ends up bouncing off the walls after a few bottles. One time, Ivan got up from his chair, attempted to stumble into the bathroom, but instead puked in the hallway. The table next to us was comprised of the owner and his family. Phil and I shot a glance to their table in horror. Instead of getting angry and kicking us out, they were all laughing hysterically, slapping the table, and giving us thumbs up. When in China...
After this drinking escapade, the three of us usually hit the town, sometimes visiting the ever popular video arcade, or possibly singing a song or two at KTV (Kareoke Television). Stop worrying! Phil and I don't engage in this Tom-foolery all that often. We've only done this twice in the past three or four months. It is nice to know though, that the ability to drink like men is available to us-- just as soon as we give Ivan a call.
Fine! Only two stories immediately come to mind! Yes, I know they weren't even that funny! It's the best I could do in the hour or so I have to post this. Remember kids, I'm a working man now!
Comment you bitches.
Tommy
P.s. Pictures coming soon. Like Terracotta- mother truckin'- Warrior pictures! Ya hear?
posted by The Friendly Liberal at
7:39 AM
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3 comments
