I'm not going to spend the first three paragraphs of this edition discussing why I haven't posted in such a long time (as I'm prone to do). Suffice to say, the reasons do go beyond mere laziness.
The Search For Eden:
One of the most satisfying consequences of living in China for so long, is the ambiguous understanding you gain about a country and people that once seemed mysterious and inpenetrable. My utterly basic knowledge of the Chinese langauge has prevented me from any full sense of understanding (certainly in any academic realm), but I do take pride in my ability to sift through the mountains of experience that have come my way and isolate certain themes and patterns.
That being said, one of the most distinct lessons I have recently recieved in human behavior has not come from the Chinese people, but rather from the fellow foreigners that explore this country with me. Waiguaren (foreigners) develop a strong sense of solidarity here in China, as I imagine they would in other non-western areas of the world. It's not uncommon to randomly strike up a conversation with fellow whitey, or give a polite nod as you pass them on the street.
When you live in a non-tourist part of China, every foreigner you meet has a very specific story for why they are here. No doubt, many of them share my story: Young men and women, fresh out of college, postoponing their careers for the chance to live in another part of the world during a time when they have no family or significant job that would keep them rooted down. Yet, while we may be the only group of people that can claim enough similarities to merit a group status, we are really a minority here in China. So many of the foreigners I meet are not young and therefore do not seem to be inspired by the explorative nature of youth. Each of these men (and the occational woman) have reasons for coming to China that are always too specific to categorize. Yet, I'm going to do just that.
There is a another group of foreigners here in China, be it a very loose federation. They are the "Tragic Men" and the reasons that bring them to China vary quite a bit. For one particular case, an online relationship brought him here, followed by an instant marraige and an equally quick divorce. Many have been here for so long that the initial reason for coming seems trivial at present. What often does not vary however, are the many things that keep them here in China. For starters, jobs are easy to find, the work is simple enough, and the cost of living is cheap. Also, beer and liquor are extremely cheap and as I have discussed before it is far more acceptable in China for men to get drunk at whatever time on whatever day. Also, age is not a hindurance when it comes to booze. No one is saying "dude, you're in your 40's! You can't get drunk like this every night." Easily the most alluring reason for the Tragic Man to stay in China is the fact that Chinese women love foreign men. You have to understand, this goes beyond simple attraction. There is a subculture of english speaking women here in China that have the sole goal of getting a foreign boyfriend.
Really, what this all adds up to is a second chance for these guys to be 20 years old again. As many will tell you, China has become their Garden of Eden, their Shangrila.
For a long time, this was wrap I had on these guys. At that point, I certainly wouldn't have labled them tragic. As time wore on however, the cracks began to show. Most of the relationships formed between foreign men and Chinese girls are about meaningful as you'd imagine. The woman (or girl in many cases) is often extremely submissive. She cleans the foreign boyfriend's room, she follows the foreign boyfriend wherever he goes, and when interacting with other foreigners, she slinks off to the side and remains completely silent.
**There are numerous exceptions to this rule. For instance, my good friend Sam just got married to an awesome, anything but submissive, Chinese girl this past week! Hurrah.
There are certainly cultural elements at work here. This passage is not meant to put down the Chinese girls that get into these relationships with a foreigner. However, there is no mistaking that these relationships are very shallow by western standards.
If you're reading this...I'm cutting this post off halfway, so check back tomorrow probably.
The Search For Eden:
One of the most satisfying consequences of living in China for so long, is the ambiguous understanding you gain about a country and people that once seemed mysterious and inpenetrable. My utterly basic knowledge of the Chinese langauge has prevented me from any full sense of understanding (certainly in any academic realm), but I do take pride in my ability to sift through the mountains of experience that have come my way and isolate certain themes and patterns.
That being said, one of the most distinct lessons I have recently recieved in human behavior has not come from the Chinese people, but rather from the fellow foreigners that explore this country with me. Waiguaren (foreigners) develop a strong sense of solidarity here in China, as I imagine they would in other non-western areas of the world. It's not uncommon to randomly strike up a conversation with fellow whitey, or give a polite nod as you pass them on the street.
When you live in a non-tourist part of China, every foreigner you meet has a very specific story for why they are here. No doubt, many of them share my story: Young men and women, fresh out of college, postoponing their careers for the chance to live in another part of the world during a time when they have no family or significant job that would keep them rooted down. Yet, while we may be the only group of people that can claim enough similarities to merit a group status, we are really a minority here in China. So many of the foreigners I meet are not young and therefore do not seem to be inspired by the explorative nature of youth. Each of these men (and the occational woman) have reasons for coming to China that are always too specific to categorize. Yet, I'm going to do just that.
There is a another group of foreigners here in China, be it a very loose federation. They are the "Tragic Men" and the reasons that bring them to China vary quite a bit. For one particular case, an online relationship brought him here, followed by an instant marraige and an equally quick divorce. Many have been here for so long that the initial reason for coming seems trivial at present. What often does not vary however, are the many things that keep them here in China. For starters, jobs are easy to find, the work is simple enough, and the cost of living is cheap. Also, beer and liquor are extremely cheap and as I have discussed before it is far more acceptable in China for men to get drunk at whatever time on whatever day. Also, age is not a hindurance when it comes to booze. No one is saying "dude, you're in your 40's! You can't get drunk like this every night." Easily the most alluring reason for the Tragic Man to stay in China is the fact that Chinese women love foreign men. You have to understand, this goes beyond simple attraction. There is a subculture of english speaking women here in China that have the sole goal of getting a foreign boyfriend.
Really, what this all adds up to is a second chance for these guys to be 20 years old again. As many will tell you, China has become their Garden of Eden, their Shangrila.
For a long time, this was wrap I had on these guys. At that point, I certainly wouldn't have labled them tragic. As time wore on however, the cracks began to show. Most of the relationships formed between foreign men and Chinese girls are about meaningful as you'd imagine. The woman (or girl in many cases) is often extremely submissive. She cleans the foreign boyfriend's room, she follows the foreign boyfriend wherever he goes, and when interacting with other foreigners, she slinks off to the side and remains completely silent.
**There are numerous exceptions to this rule. For instance, my good friend Sam just got married to an awesome, anything but submissive, Chinese girl this past week! Hurrah.
There are certainly cultural elements at work here. This passage is not meant to put down the Chinese girls that get into these relationships with a foreigner. However, there is no mistaking that these relationships are very shallow by western standards.
If you're reading this...I'm cutting this post off halfway, so check back tomorrow probably.
posted by The Friendly Liberal at
6:13 AM
1 Comments:
I was recently ranked your #1 reader by me.
By
Adam Fetcher, at 3:08 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home