China 1, Tommy 0

Monday, January 22, 2007

Final Exams: Teacher Edition

As I mentioned before, I have already tried to post on this topic, but unfortunately somehow bungled the excecution. While this new account will most likely be a stripped down version, I'm confident that this will actually benifit the reader. As these last few sentences help illustrate, I've noticed a tendency of long-winded-ness to my writing. That, coupled with the fact that I spell like an 8th grader, is sure to make for an unpleasant read. This post is sure to be quick, to the point, and full of unneccesary sex jokes. Come with me on this literary journey, won't you?

FYI: This post isn't that funny, but I would suggest reading through the whole thing anyway. This is because I think it's the most interesting thing I've written about so far. Who knows, maybe that's just me...

Finals are complete and the grades are in! This is certainly a load off my shoulders, but my thoughts are not yet free. I have lingering doubts that still plague me. Did I do it right? Did I grade some too hard? Did I grade most too easy? You see, the type of final exam that I had my students undergo, entirely left the fate of their grade up to me.

The exam consisted of a four minute speech on the topic "What did you learn in Tom's class?" I graded on pronunciation, vocabulary, flow, and content. No matter what the stated requirements were, the success or failure of a single studen't exam came down to whether or not I liked their speech. It wasn't until the first student finished her speech when I realized the level of responsibility that I had undertaken. Who am I to decide if a student's pronunciation is the 22 points that give them an A, or 20 points that give them a B?

Granted, this system of exam was recommended and shared by nearly every other teacher, but I couldn't help wonder if it was an appropriate way to hand out grades. It didn't account for a student's improvement and made effort a difficult thing to measure. Also, the only other factors that helped add up to a student's final grade were participation (which I based on impression, rather than data) and attendance. Did I pick favorites? Did I unfairly punish students that angered me throughout the term? I still ask myself these questions. I guess when you teach 55-60 students per class, you have to abandon some ideals.

In the end, I'm sure I was far too lenient on my classes. Then again, if there is to be an error made, I'm glad it's that one. You've gotta understand, I have so many students, I hardly recognized some of the people who stepped up to give a speech. Do I significantly cut their participation points because of this? That's a tough call. I can safely say that I gave the right grades to 20% of my best students and 20% of my worst students, but there was a not so small gray area for the rest of them.

The one comfort I have is that grades seem to be a lot less important at Chinese universities (or at least this one) than American. I base this on one simple, yet completely ridiculous fact: should any of my students fail, they can pay 50RMB (6 or 7 dollars) and recieve a passing grade. This is more money than it sounds for my students, but I don't have to tell you that grades for any price goes completely against the American system and would make some people cringe back home. I'm not stating that American schools are superior. I'm just stating differences. Though, this does make my job as a teacher more difficult.

All the difficulty I previously mentioned was amplified heavily by the fact that many of my students cheated, or attempted to cheat. This might seem strange to type so candidly, but as I shall explain, this behavior was so commonplace during the exams, that I came to think of these actions as something other than cheating. I know that sounds crazy, but bear with me here.

First let me list the ways my students cheated, or tried to cheat:
1. Brought written copies of their speech to the podium (that was a no-no)
2. Had friends mouthing their speech over my shoulder.
3. Had other students calling out the answers during the question portion of the exam.
4. Recited speeches that were clearly taken out of a book.
5. Repeatedly looked over my shoulder to try and see what thier grade was (That wasn't really cheating, but still pissed me off).

I know these actions sound pretty bad. Some would explain for an instant failing grade at an American university, others would merit expulsion. Yet, at the Hunan Internation University of Economics, this was not the case. After writting and deleting over five sentences trying to explain why this is, I have just now come to the conclusion that I don't really understand it myself. All I know is that these practices were so widespread, I was forced to adopt new definitions of cheating, as opposed to enforcing my own definition and only passing half my students. I scolded each student like an old mother, but only took away a few points for each instance.

For one thing, this style of exam seemed to go against everything these kids had academically prepared for up to this point. Since many of them have previously been taught by teachers with very poor spoken english themselves (I've met them), this is probably one of the first times they have been tested on the subject. In contrast, Chinese students are quite good at written english and reading. This helps explain their almost rabid desire to read their speech, as opposed to reciting it.

Also, they absolutely hated the topic I gave them for their speech. I honestly thought I making their lives a whole lot easier by giving them such a basic and open-ended question, but couldn't have been further from the truth. For better or for worse, the Chinese education system doesn't seem to place a whole lot of emphasis on creativity and orginality. The question "What did you learn in Tom's class?" just didn't give them that roadmap to victory that they yearned for. They wanted something specific, something they could research, something that had a right answer.

I believe this drove my students to plagerize their speeches more than their desire to skip half the process. Each student is given two or three books that are collections of short essays on random topics. It just so happens that it takes 4 to 5 minutes to read one of these essays out loud (great!). You can add up the result. Because my exam topic forced my students to connect their speech to my class, it became quite easy to locate those that drew from someone else's well.

"In Tom's class we talked about sports. The Olympics are the most important sport games in the world. The first Olympics took place in Greece. They were held in Athens in the year 45 B.C. The Athenians made sure to..."

Guess what? I never talked about the Olympics in class, much less the first Olympics in Athens. I cite this specific example because I heard this speech a number of times throughout exam week.

I don't know, being a teaching during finals week is still a lot better than being a student, but its so draining in a completely different way. The anxiety comes afterwards this time. Technically, you can't do anything wrong, but you still worry like hell that you did.

On Deck: Tommy takes a trip to Shanghai and Nanjing. Oldschool buddy for life, Lauren Knapp makes a celebrity cameo appearance.

In The Hole: Tommy's entire family is visiting this week! Watch as Tommy tries to entertain four edgy people with jet lag in a tourist free city! Are troubles brewing, or is this trip going to be as smooth as Chinese silk?

There's only one way to find out! Same html, same blog, on CHINA 1, TOMMY 0! We'll see you then.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I'm in Shanghai

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The Bull$#@ of all Bull#$%@s

I just spent a long long while writing a long long post that just got erased by a careless careless Thomas.

I just don't have the energy the rewrite the damn thing, but I will give you a preview of sorts.


There will be.... final exams, students failing, students cheating, bad students doing good, good students doing bad, Thomas sad, Thomas happy, choose your own adventure*, and lots lots more!

Stay tuned sports fans!
Thomas Helgen

















*there will be no "choose your own adventure section".

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Let There Be Light: Take II

Hurray! Joyous days are here again!

Did Palestine and Isreal have a massive group hug that made all their problems seem trivial in the grand scheme of things? Sorry, no.

Did Gore announce global warming to the be the greatest April Fool's joke ever pulled? Uncomfirmed.

Did Tommy/Thomas purchase a slamming new computer that connects to the internet with little trouble? You bet your sweet ass!

This may not seem like a moment worthy of global celebration, but I can assure you it is. How many days and nights has the American public typed into their computers "www.helgeninchina.blogspot.com", only to be greeted with the same boring post as the day before? How many children lost hope? How many dreamers stopped dreaming?

No more. Without hesitation, I can definatively say: I'M BACK BABY!

Oh sweet, sweet glorius day! I might even be able to start putting more pictures up! Surely they must invent a punctuation mark that blows past the exclamation point and better captures this...this moment in time!!!!!

I hereby promise that from this point on the post will contain nothing other than pertinent information regarding my ongoings in China. Aka: Here come da good stuff.

Christmas was nice, as Christmas usually is, but it was also very strange here in China. For starters, it was the first time I was without my family, not to mention the first time without snow. As I mentioned before, one could detect signs of holiday cheer on the streets of Changsha as early as Thanksgiving. Any store that banked on the notion of being a "western import" (ie: KFC and Walmart) flooded their establishment with decorations and had each of their employees don Santa caps. A week before Christmas, my class became a Christmas party disguised as a cultural lesson. I discovered that my students love the idea that Santa Claus "sees when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake", but couldn't care less about a stupid deer with a flashlight nose. I know I sound like a broken record when I say this, but once again, teaching about Christmas has helped me see the traditions in new ways. When my students laugh at the idea of hanging socks on the fireplace, it's hard not to join them.

One thing I can't joke about is the fact that a few of my students and a number of collective classes bought me gifts for the holiday. This was not something assumed, nor was it done for every other teacher. Also, these kids don't have money to spend, they just don't, so to have them buy me something is almost embarrassing, if not heartwarming. Two of my classes gave me cards that were signed by each classmate. I smiled like a baby.

There was a formal Christmas party at our school. Wait, did I say party? I meant talent show. You see, any time we hear the word "party" we know it's going to be anything but a party. On this particular occation, the party was a talent show. Since we were celebrating "our" holiday, the foreign teachers were asked/forced to take part. For these types of performances there is always a strange unity between the fact that hundreds of people will witness whatever it is that you do and the fact that they will love you no matter what, simply because you are a foreigner. Anna, Phil, and Andrew became the stars of a little one act that our boss cooked up. It had Anna and Andrew wearing Beijing Opera clothing and Phil wearing a matador costume. Andrew and Anna were lovers, but Phil (who played the role of George Bush (no joke)) had money, power, and his eyes set on Anna. In the end, Andrew (who was listed as playing George Washington) won Anna's heart by singing some Chinese songs. None of this mattered however. The simple fact was this: the foreign teachers dressed up in funny clothing, tried to speak Chinese, made references to boyfriends and girlfriends, and sang songs. The english students are probably still talking about it today. Instead of taking part in the skit, I played piano and sang a song for the little bastards! I chose the song "What a Wonderful World" because everyone in China hates everything else I play. They like nice melodies and have no time for the off-tempo jazz shit that I try to bring them. I thought it worked pretty well.

Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot to wrap this part up earlier. The reason Christmas was so strange was because I actually wanted to forget about it. It was never going to add up to anything in my past, so I rather would have had it come and go. I couldn't do that however. There were a million artificial reminders. Whether it was Walmart employees sporting a Santa hat, or one of my students eagerly wishing me a "Murry Chri-ssa-mas" I just couldn't let it slip by like I wanted to.

New Years was like that. All of a sudden, someone reminded me that it was New Year's Eve, we went to a club, counted down from ten, the place got a little louder than normal...BING, BANG, BOOM....hope it's better next year! In a strange way, I almost prefer that route. I'm in China. I'm loving it. I don't need America-Lite.

You friggin' know that more updates are soon to come! Put out the word. Let the people know that Tommy/Thomas is back with a vengence!

Leave me a comment for the love of everything holy!
Thomas