Chickity China, The Chinese Chicken. Have a Drumstick But Your Brain Keeps Ticking

You know, before I left for China, those were just words to a song. But now...well, now I know what the Bare Naked Ladies were singing about. I live those words every day. I don't expect you Americans to understand. I mean, Chickity China! It's as true today as it ever was. God damn, those boys knew what they talking about!

So guess what? I've been in China for about 4 weeks now and I don't have the slightest clue how to fill you all in on what's been going. It's been life changing. It's been hard. It's been a lot of fun. There are too many stories to try and pack into my first post, so I'll save those for a later time. Right now, I've decided to put some pictures up and let them tell a few stories along the way.




Holy Shit! It's the Great Wall of China! This is one of the first places I visited upon my arrival, so you can imagine that the bar was set very high early on. I can honestly say that the Great Wall is one of the few famous places that I've been to that completely adds up to the myth surrounding it. If the photos don't show this then I suck as a photographer. The girl next to me and the guy next to Phil are two highly capable people that used the same contact person as we did to make their China dreams come true. The contact person is a lady named Kate, who we think is in control of something like 50 kids scattered across the country. During the first few weeks, it seemed that we always saying "hello"to a new face, or saying "goodbye" to a person we barely had a chance to meet.




Just because I'm in China, don't mean that I gotta end the flavor and stop being a B-Boy 4 Life. Seriously though.




Just Cold Chilling, Great Wall style.




So I'm going to let you all in on a little secret. I haven't really told anyone about this because I'm a little embarrassed, but the truth is, I'm not in the greatest shape. I know I send out this vibe that I'm a totally fit super-athelete, but that's just a front I put up. Anyway, for those that are curious, yes the Great Wall (or the GW as the locals call it) kicked my fat ass all over the place. I died a little with each step. This picture should give you an idea why, if I were a Mongolian and somehow managed to scale the wall, I'd still give up on account of too many hills.




On the plus side, since I basically got a chance to witness my own personal hell, my masturbation count is down to an all time low. I only did it twice at the Great Wall. Look at that god damn picture! That's no trick photography. Those are some steep stairs!




And then it happened....
I went into cardiac arrest right there on the Great Wall. Since they don't have machines in China, there was no helicopter that could come and get me. Andrew had to pound two stones together to emmit the sparks that shocked me back to life. This Chinese dude was all like "Hey man, you gonna pay for those stones?" So what did we do? Well, we threw him off the Great Wall of course. That's the thing about the Great Wall, you're always three feet away from death. Ohhhhhh, I'm just joking! They've got a few machines tucked away Beijing somewhere.




This is especially for Brad Wolfram: GOD DAMN MONGOLIANS!!!
Do I know how to ruin a stunningly beautiful scene or what?




I don't have a lot to say about this picture. I'm sure you're all losing your minds right about now. To think, we actually occupied the same tram bubble that Bill Clinton once did. That's like only 8 years away from actually meeting him. What can I say? I'm a lucky dude.

A lesser man would have made a Clinton sex joke. I, on the other hand, am too classy for that shit.

So that about wraps things up. There ya go...the first decent post. I only used eight of the billions of photographs that I took at the GW. As beautiful as it is though, there are only so many angles that you can show a wall. Now that I've got everything set up, more updates should follow quickly. I've got some good stuff saved up for you guys, so do stay tuned.

Oh, also...I fixed the comments so that everyone can leave one without any requirements. Please do, it lights up my life. I would love love love to hear from you.

Yours Truly,
He Zheng Jie (That's my Chinese Name)